If I Chose Cremation, Do I Need a Memorial?
Posted by Quiring Admin on December 21, 2022
If you're planning your own funeral or the final services for a loved one, you probably have a lot of questions. One of the most common types of questions that is asked is about what is required for a service. While there are many people who opt for a traditional memorial service, there is a growing number of people who are choosing to do something non-traditional.
Memorial services are not a requirement for anyone, but it's a good idea to spend a few moments thinking about what they and their loved ones would want when they pass. Memorial services are an important part of the grief process for the family and friends of a loved one.
Even if the person who has passed doesn't think the people who are most important to them would want a large service, it's often a good idea to hold a small funeral, wake, or celebration of life. If you're currently thinking about what you want your end-of-life ceremony to look like, consider these factors.
What Do You Want?
When dealing with a complicated subject such as end of life arrangements, it can be easy to become overwhelmed. When this happens, we often see people state that they "don't care" what their final service looks like. In actuality, however, most people care a lot.
One of the most common issues that we see is that people have a difficult time expressing their wishes. This can be a difficult subject to talk about, especially with a large group of people.
To make it easier, start by thinking about what you want on your own. Many people find it helpful to write down what they want, even if the list doesn't seem to make a lot of sense at first. Just knowing a few favorite songs or who you want to be there is a good place to start.
Next, consider what traditions you want to include or exclude. It may be helpful to talk with your faith leader if you have one. Also consider important cultural traditions.
At this point in the process, don't be concerned if what you want isn't what your family and friends would have imagined. It's perfectly normal to imagine a memorial service with some traditional elements and some more modern ones. Some people opt for memorial services that look more like celebrations than mourning.
It's normal for people to have a lot of mixed feelings about planning their final service. If you need to take short breaks, or if you can only manage to come up with a few key details, that's all right. The important thing is to make sure that the ceremonies, songs, thoughts, and feelings that are most important to you are included.
What Do Your Friends and Family Want?
Once you have an idea of what you want, it will become much easier to consider the input of your family and friends. Be cautious when proceeding with this step, as many people can become very passionate when discussing this topic.
Because of this, you may want to heavily consider who you approach about this subject and do so one at a time. Don't be hurt or surprised if your loved ones are hesitant to discuss the topic; many people will find this very distressing. Listen to what each person has to say and give them time to talk about what would be meaningful to them.
One thing that is certain that your family and friends will want to have some sort of service to remember you. This may be a highly traditional, religious ceremony such as a funeral, a traditional celebration of life such as an Irish wake, or even a more modern memorial of your choosing.
The people who love you will want something to remember you by when you pass. While what you want and what they want may not line up exactly, anything you plan for them will be appreciated.
Once you have a clear picture of what you and your loved ones want for your final services, it's time to think about some practical considerations. Not everyone will be able to travel to this event, and even those who can will likely want something more lasting. For these reasons, many people will take some time to consider what their grave will look like.
With a cremation, of course, it is not necessary to be buried. Many people choose to have their ashes scattered in a place that has a lot of meaning to them. However, many other people choose to have their ashes buried. Choosing this option allows families to have a designated place for their loved one. Often, families will choose to be buried together.
To mark this location, be sure to ask about our selection of flat grave markers. These stones come in many different designs, and they are an ideal way to mark a single or multiple plots.
Remember that no matter what you choose, your final service will be a celebration and remembrance of who you are as a person. Ultimately, it won't matter if you follow a strict tradition or make your own ceremony, the people who are there will be there because they want to remember you. Do not make the mistake of denying them the opportunity to spend time with you one last time.
You can buy headstones and schedule memorial services from Quiring Monuments; contact us today. Whatever option you choose, make sure you take the time to design a headstone that captures your essence and tells your story.